Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
