put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
