Me. At least after what I've been through.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
