Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Randomize
