I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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