Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
