don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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