hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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