He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
