I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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