this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
