Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
