Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize