theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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