dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
