i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
