hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
