There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
