Sry I called you an 8
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
