Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
