sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
pray to the hookup gods
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
