In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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