I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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