Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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