ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize