In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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