i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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