I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
