She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
