I will die if light touches me.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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