Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
