careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
