hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
