i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
