he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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