If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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