She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize