I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
