one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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