Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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