You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
