We're facebook friends in real life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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