She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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