And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize