I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
