Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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