Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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