i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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