Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize