One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
