if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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