I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
