How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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