Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
