Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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