I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
