how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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