Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
