i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
