Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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