I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
is that a dick in a sweater?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
