PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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