My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
