I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
