Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So much Jack, so little girl.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
where are my eyebrows?
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