I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
