i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
