turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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