She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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