I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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