how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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