dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize