I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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