Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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