so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize