Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
