ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Randomize
