this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
