you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
