Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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